Self-value and self-esteem
"Now here's the tricky part. In contrast to high self-esteem, with its tendency toward entitlement, people with high self-value necessarily value others.
Where self-esteem is hierarchical, self-value is about equality.
Here's why: When we value others, we value ourselves more—we elevate our sense of well-being and facilitate our health, growth, and development.(Think of how you feel when you’re loving and compassionate to those you love.)
When we devalue someone else, we devalue ourselves—our sense of well being deteriorates, we violate our basic humanity to some degree, and become more narrow and rigid in perspective, all of which impair growth and development. (Think of how you feel when you devalue loved ones.)
In other words, when you value someone else you experience a state of value—vitality, meaning, and purpose—and when you devalue someone else, you experience a devalued state, wherein the will to live well becomes less important than the will to control or dominate or at least be seen as right.
Valuing others makes our self-value soar. It also carries substantial social reward; showing value tends to invoke reciprocity and cooperation. Devaluing others, though, causes reactivity and resistance. It makes us look for something to be cranky about, so the low-grade adrenaline can inflate our egos enough to get us through the day."
Amazing on how a thing as simple as valuing and devaluing others have such effect on a person.
I do get the the part where self-esteem is hierarchical, it's merely about, "I'm better than you, You're lesser than me" It's leveling thing. A high self-esteem makes you entitled, because you're basically training your self to be one.
Self-value on the other hand, tells you that "everyone's a person". Treat a person like you want to be treated.
I now remember old stories and parables about a person or persons that have their problems, and the way it always unravels is that they help other people and eventually realize their problems aren't any better, and along the way it helps them settle their losses and disappointments.
"When we value others, we value ourselves; When we devalue others, we devalue ourselves".
It must be true then that real value comes in valuing other people rather than putting people down.
Comments
Post a Comment