It's time to close this chapter

For once, this is not a regret of not doing something. This i'll count to one of my failures this year and I don't mind it.
I realize that this has taught me a lot and having these small moments have been a treasure for me.
When you're a single young-professional kid, the expectations of you are quite varied. Like the view is that you're only having fun, you're young, you get to do what ever you want. Your whole life is ahead of you. You don't get to say that it's hard. But it's hard, it gets really hard some times. 
It's hard maintaining relationships, it's even harder to be in one. Like the process that it takes from trying and finally deciding is an amazing thing. It's amazing because one way or another it either continues great or ends badly.
I am way too young to be thinking about settling, but it's there. It's a tiny thought that nags every once in a long while. 
I don't know where i skipped a part about having fun and trying it out then see what consequences you have. 
Must be a part of growing up, the competitive area dies. Suddenly, it's not all about the pretty faces and the cute girls. You stop looking for that perfect person, You just want a person. In fact, now you're more discerning about trophies, You'd rather want someone that will listen and understand. Sooner or later, you want someone that's cooperative. Someone you'll get along with in this life. Someone you can treat as a person, as they treat you.
I've always been alone, I've gotten used to it. Not alone alone, I mean I have my family and friends. I mean the kind of alone where you wish you were talking about something profoundly dumb with somebody. Or that feeling you get, when you see couples hanging around. It's shallow but it builds a longing. Again, you don't get to say that it's hard, but it's hard.
Anyway, this chapter has to end now. This is no longer a door. This is now a brick wall.
Time to look for a new house. A house that you're welcome.

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