Expectations and Pain

I never understood when people give advice about expectations. It usually goes something like "no expectations, no pain" or a variation of that, that somehow demonizes expectations. This kind of conversation usually hovers first at an emotional tale of loss, then someone bright says, "the problem is that you expect too much"

 I say whenever you're doing something that's worth doing, you'll always have expectations in the back of your head. The more worthy a goal is to you, the more expectations you'll have.

 You can't just train your mind to "not" expect. You'll lose everytime.

 Maybe the point is to expect. The right things first. Have a healthy sense of what to expect. especially at love.

 Sometimes you're going to get hurt. You're going to feel pain. If it doesn't feel that way, don't be weirded out, that's a good thing. If it does feel painful, that's a signal to your brain. Assess and re-evaluate. It's love not the jungle where a lion is out to maul you.

 Sometimes you're going to get disappointed. Again, if it doesn't feel that way, that's good. But when it does, ask yourself why. What were your beliefs that led to this state? Maybe you had a different idea of a person. and you loved that idea so much. And the person acted contrary to your idea. You can either (1) accept this behavior or (2) tell the person to change this behavior; then decide to continue or carry on.

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