Flourish (2011) | Martin Seligman

There’s a line between the old and the new. One field to have that is Psychology. Between the line: Martin Seligman. And that line is ever evolving. A number of years ago the standard of Psychology was alleviating pain, an ailment that has to be managed. Then it shifted. It was the birth of Positive Psychology: to elevate positive emotions, a focus from how to make people less miserable, to how to make people happier. But once again the ground it was built shook. From merely increasing positive emotions, it aims to increase human flourishing.

The Well-Being Theory

Its predecessor was the Authentic Happiness Theory, one that centered on increasing positive emotions. The upgrade: the Well-Being theory, Positive Emotion is now only a part of five elements, not the main goal. The main goal?  Increase human flourishing thru:

Positive Emotions (happiness on an emotional level; pleasures); Engagement (how absorbed one is at a tasks); Positive Relationships (other people); Meaning (purpose, belonging to and serving something bigger the one’s own self); Achievement (mastery or accomplishment)

Flourish

Martin Seligman writes on how Positive Psychology has affected other fields. It has since grown from academia and the therapist’s door only. The US Military has programs to affect resilience and others to the soldier.  How Positive Psychology has a correlation to Physical Health. Seligman also relays its politics and economics.

A lot of familiar names pop up in this book, Angela Duckworth, Anders Erickson, Daniel Kahneman etc. It’s interesting how the study of Grit started, and how it is like right now.

Some interesting notes/exercises.

Kindness exercise:
Find one wholly unexpected kind thing to do tomorrow just do it. Notice what happens to your mood

Gratitude visit:
Call up a person who did something or said something that changed your life for the better, but have never properly thanked. Write a letter. Call up to visit. Visit then read her the letter.

What went well exercise:
Every night for the next week before you sleep, write down 3 things that went well today. It could be trivial or important. Then next to each event; Answer the questions:
Why did this happen?
What does this mean to you?
How can you have more of this good thing in the future?

Want to maintain strong personal relationships? Respond to good news in an Active and Constructive way.
The other response styles do not contribute or otherwise harm relationships in the long run.
Active and Destructive, Passive and Constructive, Passive and Destructive

The Losada Ratio: a ratio exacting positive to negative emotions which results to flourishing or languishing. A 2.9:1 postive to negative ratio in meetings of companies are flourishing. 5:1 Positive to Negative talks apply in good relationships. 13:1 you lose credibility, 1:3 is a catastrophe. (Looks like this exact ratio has been discredited.)

(Early signs of Angela Duckworth)
Achievement = Skill × Effort
Skill = Speed, Slowness, Rate of Learning
Effort = Time on Task (Self-Control and Grit)

Emotions are usually preceded by certain thoughts.
Fear arises from thoughts Danger; Sadness from thoughts of Loss; Anger from thoughts of Trespass;
Admiration comes from thinking a person did something to display skill/talent; Joy from having gotten what you desire; Pride comes from doing culturally valued skill/talent; Gratitude when you think a person demonstrated the she cares about you as a person and will there for you in the future.

Emotional consequences do not stem from adversity but from your beliefs about adversity.
Albert Ellis Model: C = A x B; Emotional Consequence = Activating Event + Beliefs about event

Manage Anxiety and Worries (Putting it in Perspective Model)
What’s the worst case? What’s the best possible case?
What’s the most likely case?

(Traces of Carol Dweck)
Effective praise = Praise the specific Skill.

Communication Styles = Style: Belief
Passive Style comes from the belief that it’s wrong to complain. An Aggressive Style equates from the belief that people will take advantage of any sign of weakness. An Assertive Style comes from the belief that people can be trusted.

Assertive Communication steps:
1. Work to understand situation
2. Describe situation objectively
3. Express concern
4. Ask other person for perspective/work toward acceptable change
5. List benefits that will follow when change is implemented

Explanatory Styles to Positive Psychology

Optimists have a Temporary, Changeable, and Local explanatory style. “It’s going away quickly. I can do something about it. It’s just this one situation.” Pessimists view events as Pervasive, Permanent and Uncontrollable. “It’s going to last forever. I can’t do anything.”

A couple other highlighted notes:

“Look the truth is that many days-no matter how successful we are in therapy-you will wake up feeling blue and thinking life is hopeless. Your job is not only to fight these feelings but also to live heroically: functioning well even when you are sad”

“I’m all for realism when there is a knowable reality out there that is not influenced by your expectations. When your expectations influence reality, realism sucks.”



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