Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion (1984) | Robert Cialdini

When you see a source get quoted over and over again, you get a reaction of "I have to see this." Social Proof. And It has stood beatings of time, having been published 33 years ago.

That was what happened.

The way its presented is like a self-defense kind of a book. In this case, the black arts of influence and compliance professionals. (That was exaggerating it a bit but) the same way gunpowder can be misused as fireworks or bullets; Influence can be used for good and terrible purposes.

Cialdini described key principles or weapons of Influence.


Reciprocation – These are basically gifts. People have a tendency to return favors. So some compliance pro’s present things as a gift or favor before selling something.

  • How to defend against it: Say no in the first place. In practice, once you realize something is being given as a favor in exchange of something, redefine out loud that what is being given as “not a gift but a sales device” and if they counter with a concession (these are what seems like smaller requests, or in exchange for..) mention that it’s a compliance tactic.


Commitment and Consistency – These are tricks that make you commit to something whether orally and in writing, and then using that commitment to make requests. People have a tendency to follow commitments even if original terms are removed.
  • How to defend against it: Listen to your gut. And answer if terms change suddenly; ask yourself if you knew what you know now, would you make the same decision?


Social Proof – People look to others' behaviours on how to act; especially so on contexts of uncertainty and similarity. When people are uncertain they follow the crowd. When people perceive something as similar to them, people will have a bias toward that similarity.
  • How to defend against it: Recognize when social evidence has been faked. To try to prevent from following with the herd, look around and check other sources of evidence. Look into facts, your prior experiences and your own judgment.


Liking – People have a tendency to be persuaded by people that they like. Factors that can induce liking are attractiveness, familiarity, association.
  • How to defend against it: Recognize the feeling of liking when it is being produced too much, and too fast.  Ask yourself; Have i come to like this _ some minutes/days ago? If the answer is yes, too well, then that’s the signal. Then separate the deal with the dealer.


Authority – People have a tendency to follow expert or authority figures. Compliance practitioners manufacture this by posing as somewhat of an expert for a given field; carefully picking titles, clothes, and/or trappings like cars and access to well-known people.
  • How to defend against it: Ask yourself “Is this authority truly an expert?” If yes, ask in the context of the situation, “How truthful can we expect the expert to be here?” One compliance practitioner tactic is they will seem to argue to a degree against their own interests.

Scarcity - Opportunities seem more valuable to us when their availability is limited.
  • How to defend against it: Cialdini suggests a two stage sequence. One; Use the signal of emotional arousal to stop. Keep calm and regain perspective. Second; determine why you want the item in consideration; strictly for possession or for its utility? If solely for the purpose of owning it, use the availability how much to spend on it. If solely for its function, remember that it will function equally well whether scarce or plentiful.


Popular posts from this blog

The Culture Code by Daniel Coyle (2018)

Image
TL;DR: Great cultures are built on Safety, shared Vulnerability, and an established Purpose In the self-help space, these things come up again and again: Safety, Purpose, Meaning. Whether in looking at leadership, or to an individual's path to success, happiness, well-being, the literature seems pretty set on what it sees upon as the standards. And this book falls in line with those standards. This book was great. Daniel Coyle is a great storyteller. When you can blend abstract ideas with concrete examples, and get a good balance, it gets digested much easier. This book reads pretty easily too. It seemed to be built to be simple and structured.
Read more

what ever happens, I'm happy now.

and i'm now 24. I'm still young enough to mess up and make up for lost time, but old enough to know not to. I try and look back at what my past 24 years has been. That's easier nowadays, i think. To look back, i n this day and age of social media.  Especially if you've documented every few days of what's happening with you.   But as they say, it's only the bright sides you see on social media. Which I believe is mostly true.  I think I've learned more importantly, that life isn't always the bright sides. Because really, it's not. Yes, to look on the bright side as a focus is a good thing. But to expect everything to be that is not. We will never have everything we want. There will always be failures. There will be disappointments. There will be bad days. But the idea is to never stop trying. because, what else is there? I think i'm more aware now than when I was younger. But i also think i don't know as much as when I would be olde...
Read more

In the Mood for Love (2000 - Hong Kong)

I can't remember now how many times I've seen In the mood for love. "If there's an extra ticket, would you go with me?"  Again, at missed connections. i think it's a bigger tragedy than unrequited love. A missed connection suggests that, a love could have flourished. both people want it, but for whichever reason, the connection never quite contacted. Looking deeper into the last few scenes. Mr. Chow, decides to leave for Singapore. Leaves a message for Mrs. Chan. "If there's an extra ticket, would you go with me?" Mrs. Chan, goes to their old hotel room and finds she's too late. 3 years later in Singapore, Mrs. Chan goes into Mr. Chow's apartment, looks at the room and phones Mr. Chow. She connects. He answers. She doesn't talk.  Why? Why doesnt she answer? She spent that whole time looking for Mr. Chow. We'll never know why. Sayang! 3 years later, Mrs. Chan returns to their old apartmen...
Read more