The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey (1989)

TL;DR: The 7 Habits: Be Proactive, Begin with the End in Mind, Put First Things First, Think Win/Win, Seek First to Understand, then to be Understood, Synergize, and Sharpen the Saw.


There was a Self-Help wave or movement in the 60's. Although it is not outright telling when the Self-Help movement began. Was it during Dale Carnegie's or the Philosophers in Ancient Greece/Rome? Who knows. What I know is right around when the Millennials were coming into existence, Stephen Covey put out this book. And it is still selling, almost 30 years later. Some ideas of which seems to have inspired some of this generation's current thoughts. Some already outdated and science has said otherwise, Still it's ancestry traces can be found in others works.


Opening the book, Covey argues that at an earlier time success was founded on Character and around post-WWII, it shifted to the Personality. (This reminded me of the opening arguments of Susan Cain in her book; Quiet)


Character Ethic, as a foundation of success- things like integrity, humility, fidelity, temperance, courage, justice, patience, industry, simplicity, modesty and the Golden Rule.
Personality Ethic, as a foundation of success- became more as a function of personality, of public image, of attitudes and behaviors, skills and techniques.
In another opening, lecturing the reader on Perspective, we see a blurry picture of either an old lady or a young girl. We are then shown that it's both. It only depends how we see.
Each of us tends to think we see things as they are, that we are objective. But this is not the case. We see the world not as it is, but as we are-or, as we are conditioned to see it. When we open our mouths to describe what we see, we in effect describe ourselves, our perceptions, our paradigms. 
This book is essentially about Effectiveness. Habits that bring out that Effectiveness. And Effectiveness lies in the balance of what Covey calls P/PC Balance. Production (Results) over the Production Capability (ability/asset that produces the result) In a business setting, Covey almost writes the customer is not always right. In fact, groom your employee. 
The PC Principle is to always treat your employees exactly as you want them to treat your best customers. 
Now to the habits

Habit 1: Be Proactive


Rooted in the debate of whether we have Free Will or is everything Pre-Determined. This sides heavily with Free Will.

Proactivity, ... It means as human beings we are responsible for our own lives.

Conversely, the prevailing Theories of Determinism were: 
  1. Genetic Determinism - That your grandparents did it to you; Your DNA
  2. Psychic Determinism - Your parents did it to you. Your childhood and upbringing
  3. Environmental Determinism - Your boss is doing it you, or the government, or your neighbor
Covey rejects the theories. We are responsible. We steer the ships of our lives.


Given the Four Human Endowments:

  1. Self-awareness, the ability to think about your very thought process.
  2. Imagination, the ability to create in our minds beyond our present reality.
  3. Conscience, a deep inner awareness of right and wrong, of the principles that govern our behavior, and a sense of the degree to which our thoughts and actions are in harmony with them.
  4. Independent Will, the ability to act based on our self-awareness, free of all other influences.
Even in hard, trying times, we are in control. Covey gives the example of Viktor Frankl, Austrian Psychiatrist and Holocaust survivor who famously said, 
Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response
Viktor Frankl suggests that there are three central values in life-the experiential, or that which happens to us;the creative, or the which we bring into existence, and the attitudinal, or our response in difficult circumstances. 
This is largely philosophical. Some people believe everything's set and some not. Some are in the middle. And Covey notes that there are limits
While we are free to choose our actions, we are not free to choose the consequences of those actions. 
And on making a mistake:
The proactive approach to a mistake is to acknowledge it instantly, correct and learn from it. 
Habit 2: Begin With The End In Mind


You've probably heard of SMART goals usually in Management or business. If you haven't; it's Simple, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic and Time-Bound. This habit is about the goal. Visualizing it from the end. The Stoics would probably be rolling in their graves, telling us, "we've told you like a couple thousand years ago."

The most fundamental application of "begin with the end in mind" is to begin today with the image, picture or paradigm of the end of your life as your frame of reference or the criterion by which everything else is examined.
That what we do aligns to what we become in that end. Covey introduces the "Circle of Influence" or in these days, of Control. In the center of this circle are four:
  • Security, represents your sense of worth, identity, emotional anchorage, self-esteem, basic personal strength or lack of it.
  • Guidance, means your source of direction in life; Your map, internal frame of reference.
  • Wisdom is your perspective in life, your sense of balance, your understanding of how various parts and principles apply and relate to each other.
  • Power is the faculty and capacity to act, the strength and potency to accomplish something.

In every person, these tend to be different; and they usually fall in ranges.
Security lies between extreme insecurity and a deep sense of high intrinsic worthGuidance ranges from dependence to strong inner directionWisdom falls somewhere between a distorted map and a complete and accurate map of lifePower lies between immobilization to high-proactivity
Covey outlines Alternative Centers which people usually lives their out with.
  • Spouse Centeredness, your sense of emotional worth comes primarily from the relationship, you are vulnerable to moods and feelings
  • Family Centeredness, your sense of security and personal worth comes from family tradition and culture, or family reputation. You are vulnerable to changes in tradition or culture
  • Money Centeredness, economic security, personal worth comes from net worth. You are vulnerable to anything that affects that net worth
  • Work Centeredness, your identity and self worth is wrapped in work. You are vulnerable to anything that happens when prevented from continuing it
  • Possession Centeredness, your sense of security lies in reputation or things. Your life is in constant state of threat that these possessions may be lost or stolen or devalued. 
  • Pleasure Centeredness, your sense of security lies in fun and pleasure. With a constant cry for more, the pleasure has to be bigger and bigger.
  • Friend/Enemy Centeredness, putting emotional dependence in one individual, you are dependent on reacting to behavior and attitudes
  • Church Centeredness, image or appearance can become a person's dominant consideration, guidance comes from social conscience
  • Self-Centeredness, Selfishness with little security, guidance, wisdom nor power in the limited center of self
Covey writes that we should live our lives instead in Principle: Principle Centered. 
Principles are deep, fundamental truths, classic truths, generic common denominators. They are tightly interwoven threads running with exactness, consistency, beauty, and strength through the fabric of life. 
Covey advises that we create a Personal Mission Statement; something to guide our lives with.
A good affirmation has five basic ingredients: it's personal, it's positive, it's present tense, it's visual, and it's emotional. So I might write something like this: "It is deeply satisfying (emotional) that I (personal) respond (present tense) with wisdom, love, firmness and self-control (positive) when my children misbehave.
Habit 3: Put First Things First


To be able to prioritize what needs to be prioritized, one of the human endowments is Independent Will. 

Independent Will, the ability to make decisions and choices and to act in accordance with them. It is the ability to act rather than to be acted upon.
To enact that will, it helps to have a tool to allocate Time. That tool is The Time Management Matrix. Spread across a 2x2 matrix are four quadrants split according to Urgency/Non-Urgency and Importance/Non-Importance. 

  • We should focus our attention on Quadrant II activities: Important but not Urgent matters.
  • And organize our time in Weeks, instead of Days; because organizing in Days, we tend to fill it with Quadrant 1 activities
  • Think Effectiveness with People and Efficiency with Things

For Quadrant 4 Tasks, Tasks that are Not Urgent and Not Important: Eliminate those. Quadrant 3 tasks: Delegate
If we delegate to time, we think efficiency. If we delegate to other people, we think effectiveness. 

Covey defines 2 Kinds of Delegation: Gofer Delegation and Stewardship Delegation


Gofer Delegation is focused on methods, micro-managing basically.

Go for this, Go for that, Do this and Do that.
Stewardship is focused on results instead of methods. 
Simply specify the Desired Results, it's Guidelines, the Resources, Make them Accountable, and specify Consequences


The next 3 habits are about Interdependence. Because nobody really lives on his own. Once you've learned the habits of independence, the next step is to participate with other people.

To understand them deeply as individuals, the way you want to be understood

Treat them all the same by treating them differently
Habit 4: Think Win/Win


Covey outlines that there are Six Paradigms of Human Interaction

Win/Win, Win/Lose, Lose/Win, Lose/Lose, Win, Win/Win or No Deal

Win/Win is when agreements/solutions are mutually beneficial and mutually satisfying. Win/Lose is authoritarian. I get my way, you don't. Lose/Win - is worse because it is permissive and indulgent. Lose/Lose is highly dependent without inner direction. Win is I get my way, you're on your own. Win/Win or No Deal is ideal for new interactions


To think Win/Win means we consider both the other person's interests and our own. Covey writes these as the Dimensions of Win/Win Thinking

  • Character - is about Integrity and the value we place on ourselves; Maturity as the balance between Courage and Consideration and and Abundance Mentality, that there is plenty out there for everybody
  • Relationships - which is built on Trust, our Emotional Bank Account.
  • Agreements - give definition and direction
  • Systems - Culture, What you reward
  • Processes - "Getting to Yes" means we Separate the Person from the Problem, and we Focus on Interests not position



Habit 5:  Seek First to Understand, Then to be Understood



This habit is interesting because it's about communicating; and part of communicating is listening. Covey lists down 5 levels of listening: 

  1. Ignoring
  2. Pretending: "Uh yeah, right"
  3. Selective Listening: hearing only certain parts
  4. Attentive Listening: paying attention but merely focusing on words
  5. Empathic Listening, listening with the intent to understand
Concurrently we have 4 Autobiographical Responses where:
  • We evaluate - we either agree or disagree;
  • We probe - we ask questions from our frame of reference;
  • We advise - we give counsel based on our own experience;
  • We interpret - we try to figure out, to explain their motives, based on our own motives and behavior

This is lacking. We should strive to Rephrase and Reflect. Covey states 4 Developmental Stages of Empathic Listening
  1. Mimic Content - Repeat words
  2. Rephrase Content - Put other person's meaning into your own words
  3. Reflect Feeling - Put feelings into what the other person is saying
  4. Rephrase and Reflect - Mix of both 2nd and 3rd

Knowing how to be understood is the other half of this habit .
Seeking to understand requires consideration; seeking to be understood takes courage.

The Greeks had the concepts: Ethos, Pathos, Logos. Ethos is about personal credibility; People's faith in your integrity and competency. Pathos is the empathic side aligning with another person's communication. Logos is Logic; the reason part of the presentation. To know how to be understood follows Character, Relationships and Logic.


Habit 6: Synergize



To synergize means we think globally; that we are better together. We produce more than being on our own. 1+1 could be more than 2.

Synergy - the whole is greater than the sum of its parts

Covey Illustrates 3 Levels of Communication in terms of Trust and Cooperation
  • Defensive (Win/Lose or Lose/Win)
  • Respectful (Compromise)
  • Synergistic (Win/Win)

Habit 7: Sharpen the Saw


To sharpen the saw means that we continue to learn, continue to keep ourselves in prime condition. Covey writes 4 Dimensions of Renewal

Physical - Exercise, Nutrition, Stress ManagementSocial/Emotional - Service, Empathy, Synergy, Intrinsic SecuritySpiritual - Value Clarification and Commitment, Study and MeditationMental - Reading, Visualizing, Planning, Writing

And probably the pitch for the whole self-esteem
This is the single most powerful investment we can ever make in life-investment in ourselves, in the only instrument we have with which to deal with life, and to contribute. We are the instruments of our performance.
As with the Physical and the Emotional. I'm sure Covey would have been down with Carol Dweck's research on Growth Mindset
When you exercise your patience beyond your past limits, the emotional fiber is broken, nature overcompensates, and next time the fiber is stronger.

Spiritually and Mentally, we need to learn to be okay with ourselves. Some might say, to just be bored and do nothing.
"The greatest battles of life are fought out daily in the silent chambers of the soul" David O. McKay
To recap:
  • Habit 1: Be Proactive, Remember: you are in Control
  • Habit 2: Begin with the End in Mind, Set your goals
  • Habit 3 Put First Things First, Know what to Prioritize
  • Habit 4 Think Win/Win, Consider both parties
  • Habit 5 Seek First to Understand, then to be Understood, Empathy and Assertiveness
  • Habit 6 Synergize, Cooperate for the whole
  • Habit 7 Sharpen the Saw, Keep yourself in shape in all aspects

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