Give and Take (2013) | Adam Grant

They were right. 

 If I thought, Adam Grant's book last year Originals was remarkable, his first book Give and Take, is even more impressive.

The premise opens. On the bottom of performance charts for different industries, Givers are worse off. Surprisingly at the top, it's the Givers also. A chunk in the middle are the Takers and Matchers.

 In this book, Adam Grant looks in to what he calls reciprocity styles. On the two sides of the continuum, Givers and Takers.
  • Takers get advantage in the short run, or in zero-sum contexts. Being a Giver takes time to see fruits of labor. But it is the most successful way.
  • Takers show tells of being a Faker or acting like a Giver out of pure self-interest. Givers give more than they receive.
  • Givers share credit
  • Givers create a psychologically-safe environment when leading
  • Givers see potential in others and acts upon that potential, whereas Matchers wait for signs that one has potential, before providing help
  • Givers are less susceptible to Escalation of Commitment, because Givers accept criticism and work on it, whereas Takers feel pride.
  • Givers are much more comfortable expressing vulnerability.
  • In one of the more interesting chapters called Powerless Communication; 
    • when presenting: be vulnerable but be an expert; 
    • when selling: actually care about the other person, ask questions, or better yet intention questions; 
    • when persuading: use tentative speech or powerless speech (on teams where members are passive, use powerful speech, when people are proactive, talk in a powerless way); 
    • when negotiating: ask for an advice, be genuine that you need help
  • The difference between givers at the bottom and the top of the performance charts is burnout. Givers can be split into two based on concern for self-interest; Selfless and Otherish. Both score high on concern for other's interest but Selfless Givers score low on concern for self-interest. This is where Selfless Givers burnout. When they give too much in harm of their own well-being. (Too much of anything is still bad)
  • It's less about the amount of giving, but more on the impact of the giving. Perception of impact buffers against stress. It enables employees to avoid burnout and maintain motivation.
  • Otherish Givers build up a support network and chunk their time in giving, to avoid burnout.
  • To not be taken advantage of, when acting with Takers, become a Matcher with the exchanges. Employ a Sincerity Screening (pay attention to who's asking and how they're treating you) and a Generous Tit for Tat (be generally a giver, but when taken advantage be a matcher)
  • Relational Account: Negotiate with a mindset that it's not for you, but for your friend or your family
  • In groups, managing context can make Taker and Matchers donate more. Make giving the norm. Make reciprocity the rule.

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