Modern Romance (2015) | Aziz Ansari
It's an interesting view on the modern dating scene in the US through the eyes of a stand-up comic. Most are pretty easily identifiable, like the anxieties over text messages. Some I'd say are still different in the Philippines, like Online Dating being not as prevalent, or maybe I'm part of a segment that does not see as much.
Aziz has a bit that goes something like "Your grandmother didn't have 50 guys texting her all night saying how good she looked when she met your grandfather".
Time being a factor. People before didn't have the circumstances we have now. Likewise, people in the future will have advancements we don't have or know. Also, people were meeting differently. They were meeting people that were relatively close to their homes. Nowadays, people have the option to meet through bigger channels and be introduced to a bigger number of potential partners.
With the surge of potential partners and options, the paradox of choice surfaces. An idea studied and laid out by Barry Schwartz around the early 2000's. It basically argues around, one would think with more options people would also be happier, but there comes a point where too much options becomes paralyzing and when we do make a choice we're less satisfied with what we choose. Similar to dating.
I wonder what problems people will have in the future with their dating lives and relationships.
An advancement brought on by technology is in communicating. Face to face conversations can now be done via text, chat or a direct message. With that additional layer, it can be easy to treat other people as just a bubble on a screen. And the messages can be flat and easy to ignore. Aziz argues to try to remember that there's an actual person behind that avatar, and be respectful online as you would treat a person in real life.
Aziz Ansari also looks at the dating cultures in Japan and Argentina. The comparison of the two was, to say the least, surprising. And what's weird is it seemed like the women in both parts of the world get a different kind of disadvantage when it's at the extremes.
The most interesting part I'd say is the chapter about settling down where the difference between passionate love and companionate love is discussed. Helen Fisher, an anthropologist, compared brain scans of young people looking at their partners and middle-aged people who have been married for an average of 21 years. "Among older lovers, brain regions associated with anxiety were no longer active, instead, there was activity in the areas associated with calmness."
Aziz Ansari quips love goes from feeling like doing cocaine to feeling how you would about an uncle. Companionate love is similar to the kind you would feel for an old friend or a family member.
Aziz has a bit that goes something like "Your grandmother didn't have 50 guys texting her all night saying how good she looked when she met your grandfather".
Time being a factor. People before didn't have the circumstances we have now. Likewise, people in the future will have advancements we don't have or know. Also, people were meeting differently. They were meeting people that were relatively close to their homes. Nowadays, people have the option to meet through bigger channels and be introduced to a bigger number of potential partners.
With the surge of potential partners and options, the paradox of choice surfaces. An idea studied and laid out by Barry Schwartz around the early 2000's. It basically argues around, one would think with more options people would also be happier, but there comes a point where too much options becomes paralyzing and when we do make a choice we're less satisfied with what we choose. Similar to dating.
I wonder what problems people will have in the future with their dating lives and relationships.
An advancement brought on by technology is in communicating. Face to face conversations can now be done via text, chat or a direct message. With that additional layer, it can be easy to treat other people as just a bubble on a screen. And the messages can be flat and easy to ignore. Aziz argues to try to remember that there's an actual person behind that avatar, and be respectful online as you would treat a person in real life.
Aziz Ansari also looks at the dating cultures in Japan and Argentina. The comparison of the two was, to say the least, surprising. And what's weird is it seemed like the women in both parts of the world get a different kind of disadvantage when it's at the extremes.
The most interesting part I'd say is the chapter about settling down where the difference between passionate love and companionate love is discussed. Helen Fisher, an anthropologist, compared brain scans of young people looking at their partners and middle-aged people who have been married for an average of 21 years. "Among older lovers, brain regions associated with anxiety were no longer active, instead, there was activity in the areas associated with calmness."
Aziz Ansari quips love goes from feeling like doing cocaine to feeling how you would about an uncle. Companionate love is similar to the kind you would feel for an old friend or a family member.
