Louis CK: On perspectives and life
Some snippets from Louis CK's interview with Rolling Stone
Read more: http://www.rollingstone.com/culture/news/louis-c-k-comes-clean-20130425#ixzz3JnLawWY1
Asked a question, about appearances and what other people say about it
No, I don't wake up and think that, ever. I've never had that thought. I don't worry about what people say [...]. It's not my concern. It's their problem.
On grudges
No, I don't hold on to grudges. I don't have a grudge in my life. I forgive people. I just don't believe that you owe anybody in your life a relationship. It's healthy and fair to opt in or out, and it's actually more fair to do that than to hold people's feet to the fire for everything they've ever done
Parenting
Yeah, "because I'm your father" is just a cheap cop-out, and it robs the kid of an opportunity to understand something. I engage them. A lot of parents don't talk to their kids. I learned that from my mom. I provide for them but also let them experience their disappointments and their difficulties. You're not going to keep your kids from harm, not in a million years. All their life is going to be is harm. It's narcissistic to try to give your kids a utopian life - when they leave your house, they're going to be in a world of shit. The only thing you can give your kids that's going to be of any use is a mechanism for dealing with all the awful shit that's coming. Then it won't be that awful. As a matter of fact, it will be great.
Just getting along and surviving
Yeah, all the tools I have come from those years. There's nothing elusive or ethereal about it; it's very practical and directly related. I learned how to avoid a huge amount of pitfalls by walking into them and surviving. Then two things happen as you go along. The first thing that happens is your best gets better, but what really matters is when your worst gets better. You can't always be crackling with energy. Sometimes you go up there, and the thing didn't happen, but you've got to put together a fucking amazing show anyway, so your worst show has to be above everybody's best – that's what you really want. So your worst, that comes with time, that comes with experience.
It's understandable for people to want all their favorite things to happen, but the crazy thing is to think that they can avoid all of the hard things. To want everything that you ever dreamed of, to the exclusion of anything hard, that feels common to me now in a way that is hurting people. They're ignoring how much good there is in being present for the hardest parts of your life. I wouldn't trade those years for anything. I loved all that time; it was hard and I suffered. Times where you're like, "I think it's over, and I'm in too deep to start anything else." There are really scary moments in a showbiz career, but it's so great that they got to happen. It's a very unforgiving field; it doesn't say goodbye nicely, and there's no one there to keep you going – it's all you. But if you survived that time, that's always there.
A quieter, compassionate self talk
Oh, definitely. Once you say that to yourself, "Oh, this is anxiety," you get to say to yourself, "Why am I anxious?" because when something's bothering you, you don't name it, you just start eating something. I'm still going to eat the two Twinkies, but when I start opening the second package, I say to myself, "What's going on, buddy?" That will get me to two Twinkies instead of eight.
Glorifying terrible things
Laughing at things that are scary is a positive thing. What most people do with these events that happen, the violence in our country, is really disgusting, which is to pore over it. Everyone congratulates each other about how upset they are. There's a lot of ghoulish behavior.
Considering the source of how art becomes art
It's so much more interesting to look at art of any kind and say, "Why did they do this this way, what's their tradition, where did they come from, what were they influenced by and why are you doing this?" If you just go, "Oh, yeah, that stuff sucks," too bad for you, you're just leaving a whole bunch of stuff out that you could be seeing.
Looking at sadness at a different perspective
I don't mind feeling sad. Sadness is a lucky thing to feel. I have the same amount of happy and sad as anybody else. I just don't mind the sad part as much; it's amazing to have those feelings. I've always felt that way. I think that looking at how random and punishing life can be, it's a privilege. There's so much to look at, there's so much to observe, and there's a lot of humor in it.
Read more: http://www.rollingstone.com/culture/news/louis-c-k-comes-clean-20130425#ixzz3JnLawWY1
Asked a question, about appearances and what other people say about it
No, I don't wake up and think that, ever. I've never had that thought. I don't worry about what people say [...]. It's not my concern. It's their problem.
On grudges
No, I don't hold on to grudges. I don't have a grudge in my life. I forgive people. I just don't believe that you owe anybody in your life a relationship. It's healthy and fair to opt in or out, and it's actually more fair to do that than to hold people's feet to the fire for everything they've ever done
Parenting
Yeah, "because I'm your father" is just a cheap cop-out, and it robs the kid of an opportunity to understand something. I engage them. A lot of parents don't talk to their kids. I learned that from my mom. I provide for them but also let them experience their disappointments and their difficulties. You're not going to keep your kids from harm, not in a million years. All their life is going to be is harm. It's narcissistic to try to give your kids a utopian life - when they leave your house, they're going to be in a world of shit. The only thing you can give your kids that's going to be of any use is a mechanism for dealing with all the awful shit that's coming. Then it won't be that awful. As a matter of fact, it will be great.
Just getting along and surviving
Yeah, all the tools I have come from those years. There's nothing elusive or ethereal about it; it's very practical and directly related. I learned how to avoid a huge amount of pitfalls by walking into them and surviving. Then two things happen as you go along. The first thing that happens is your best gets better, but what really matters is when your worst gets better. You can't always be crackling with energy. Sometimes you go up there, and the thing didn't happen, but you've got to put together a fucking amazing show anyway, so your worst show has to be above everybody's best – that's what you really want. So your worst, that comes with time, that comes with experience.
It's understandable for people to want all their favorite things to happen, but the crazy thing is to think that they can avoid all of the hard things. To want everything that you ever dreamed of, to the exclusion of anything hard, that feels common to me now in a way that is hurting people. They're ignoring how much good there is in being present for the hardest parts of your life. I wouldn't trade those years for anything. I loved all that time; it was hard and I suffered. Times where you're like, "I think it's over, and I'm in too deep to start anything else." There are really scary moments in a showbiz career, but it's so great that they got to happen. It's a very unforgiving field; it doesn't say goodbye nicely, and there's no one there to keep you going – it's all you. But if you survived that time, that's always there.
A quieter, compassionate self talk
Oh, definitely. Once you say that to yourself, "Oh, this is anxiety," you get to say to yourself, "Why am I anxious?" because when something's bothering you, you don't name it, you just start eating something. I'm still going to eat the two Twinkies, but when I start opening the second package, I say to myself, "What's going on, buddy?" That will get me to two Twinkies instead of eight.
Glorifying terrible things
Laughing at things that are scary is a positive thing. What most people do with these events that happen, the violence in our country, is really disgusting, which is to pore over it. Everyone congratulates each other about how upset they are. There's a lot of ghoulish behavior.
Considering the source of how art becomes art
It's so much more interesting to look at art of any kind and say, "Why did they do this this way, what's their tradition, where did they come from, what were they influenced by and why are you doing this?" If you just go, "Oh, yeah, that stuff sucks," too bad for you, you're just leaving a whole bunch of stuff out that you could be seeing.
Looking at sadness at a different perspective
I don't mind feeling sad. Sadness is a lucky thing to feel. I have the same amount of happy and sad as anybody else. I just don't mind the sad part as much; it's amazing to have those feelings. I've always felt that way. I think that looking at how random and punishing life can be, it's a privilege. There's so much to look at, there's so much to observe, and there's a lot of humor in it.
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